My Roles on Earth

As I write this morning I am hoping that a topic will come to my brain other than the one I know I need to write about. Why you ask? I don’t want to write about this but for the last three weeks I have been putting it off. I need to write about my role on Earth. I know this is my blog and it is about me, but this topic is a little too personal. On the other hand maybe someone out there needs to read my feelings on this topic.

We all have different roles on Earth; mine include (in no certain order) I am a mom, (well that is first) I am a teacher, I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father, I am a leader at school, I am a librarian, I am the first VP for our local Delta Kappa Gamma group, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I am a woman, I am a friend, and I am the director of the after school program. This might seem like a long list but most of us would have more. I am sure that I forgot something but I only listed what I could think of in the amount of time it took me to type.

Why are these roles important? I really don’t know. Some of our roles in life are more important than others. Being a mom is my most important role. I would do anything for my kids and sometimes that is not always a good thing. Teaching is something I love to do. You might think it is easy, but trust me not just anyone could do this job. It is tough and some people that spend 4 years getting that degree find out it was not for them. The friend role is an easy role most of the time, but sometimes especially if things are tough this role might be harder. Being a daughter of a Heavenly Father is something that was natural. We are all children of God, that role to a given but it does come with responsibility.

Today I would like to focus on my primary role a mom. The last few weeks the girls and I have started school and Tyler started college. Monday was tough for me because it was a day I have been excited yet nervous for a long time. Tyler is a grown up in the eyes of the world. He is 18 and can make his own decisions. Yet, he lives at home and has to follow my long list of rules. I am sure all of the kids think I have a long list of rules but they are pretty easy to live by. I wonder if our Father in Heaven thinks that about His rules.

I love my parents and we have a different relationship than we did when I was younger. I am able to make more decisions, but I do go to them for advice. I don’t have to follow the rules I did growing up, but it amazes me when I go “home” that I still ask permission to do certain things. I would say my parents and I are now more at the friendship stage than we were when I was living at home growing up. My kids and I are close; one of the blessings that has happened over the last few years is that I have a close bond with Katie. This did not exist when Jason lived at the home. It did not have to because she had her dad at home full time.

So what is my role as a mom? I need to teach my children wrong from right! I need to teach them that they are also children of God. I need to teach them the importance of work. You need to work hard and not to expect anyone to give you anything. Help is always nice and welcomed but, sitting on your rear is not going to get you anywhere. The importance of money, not that it is important to have, but that you need to spend it wisely and save what you can. The other thing I need to teach my kids is that sometimes it is okay for mommy to come first.

This last part is the hardest thing for me. I do not ever come first like most mothers. I am sure it might be that way for some dads, but I know my mom friends will agree. We will go without shoes if our kids need them. We will wear the same pants for 20 years if it means we can afford to get our kiddos new jeans. However, doing something that I like to do to make me feel better about myself is not a bad thing or a selfish thing. It does become selfish if it takes the place of being a mom. Hopefully, this weekend as I spend it in bed trying to get over this crud my kids will understand that mom loves them, but their wants will have to wait for another weekend so that I can get feeling better.

Famlies last throughout time

This last week I was able to spend some time with my family. I love my family especially my kids but today I am going to blog about extended families. I think once we leave the nest and start families of our own our siblings and parents become our extended families unless we live with them. Last weekend was the Philpot Family Reunion, and after that we were able to go visit my mom’s house and visit her. How lucky I am to have a great extended family.

During the reunion I was able to sit and listen to stories of my great grandparents, great-great grandparents, and great-great-great grandparents things I didn’t know before or had forgotten. I found out that one of them worked for Brigham Young and that they came out west on a train not on the wagon or handcart trails. (I do have those also) I found out where they settled in Utah and what their jobs were. I found out more about why my maiden name was chosen, this has always been a mystery to me.
I then went to the DUP (Daughters of the Utah Pioneers) museum where I was able to pull some family histories. This was really cool because you could find some firsthand knowledge of someone that was really there. I also found out what company they came out west with and what boat they were on. This information came with journal entries of passengers. This is important to me, mainly because I love history and if it is information on someone you know you are already invested in finding out more.

I also decided I wanted to find out more on my mother’s side of the family. Now both of my maternal grandparents loved genealogy so this was much easier to find the group sheets and names but not so much about the stories. You see sometimes just doing the paperwork doesn’t help with the stories and that was what I wanted to find. So, I had to dig further. I did find out where the land was located for my earliest ancestors that reached the Salt Lake Valley was located. I even was able to purchase a map to have real proof. I bought a book dedicated to that side of the family and their stories that includes some journaling. How cool is that?

As I was coming across these discoveries for me, I thought about the great, great-great, or great-great-great children I will someday have. I hope my posterity is great and they will want at some point in their lives want to know about me. What is the story I am leaving behind? Are they going to know that yes there is pain in this world but also great happiness? Will they know that I loved the Savior Jesus Christ more than anything and I knew I am a Child of God? Will they wonder why I did the things I do? I do not know, they might not even wonder any of these things or even care about my story. The one thing I know is that I have left things for them to read about and will now start to document my parent’s lives so that when they are gone, I will have those stories for their grandchildren and other generations to come. They might think history is just that and it should stay in the past. Yes, I agree something should stay in the past but, there is a whole new world when you know your back story.

Finding out things about the generations that came before you is part of your story. The reason I grew up in Utah and grew up as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is because of my ancestors. Some of these people walked thousands of miles to find a place where homes would be built for the last time and not destroyed again. Some came from Sweden and traveled by boat for months and then got on trains to be closer to those who believed the same as they did. Some left their extended families to go out west so that their children would not be affected by decisions they had made in the past. This does not mean I haven’t found on my own that what my ancestors believed isn’t what I believe; it just means that is where it started from. I know my pioneer heritage is a big part of who I am. I also know that there are going to be things I will be the pioneer in.

I am the first college educated child of my parents. Yes, my twin sisters got their education first but, I mean my mom and dad. I was the first one to break any bones, starting at the age of 18 months. I was the only child that lived with both my maternal and paternal grandparents. I am the first child to raise three wonderful children as a single mom. This is part of the legacy I will carry to my children and down generations. So the next time you go to a family reunion listen, take notes, and record what happened, you might end up being the documenter of your family.

I love my family more than anything, and I am so glad I was able to find out more of where I came from. This is one of the great blessings of this age we live in. Computers have made this so much easier. Don’t forget the paperwork is important because to do research you need the dates, but I think the stories are the most important part. If there is anything I learned is to write your story down, that is the best place to start.

Why I love America

I have thought of what I should write about the last few weeks and nothing has come to me until tonight. This has been a big news week with the Supreme Court deciding on two important items. The first being SB170 and the Affordable Health Care Act. I love politics and I love the 3 equal branches of government set up in the Constitution of the United States. This week we have heard people on both sides of the aisle talk about how they won and how what happened is good for America. While, I am a registered Republican I am more Independent than anything. I am very conservative on how I want the government on any level to spend my tax money, but more liberal on some social issues.

Next week will be the Fourth of July, one of my favorite holidays. Why, you might ask? I love America! There is not a better place on Earth to live. This nation was and still is a nation under God. We might be losing some of that but, we still are that. I know that it seems like God is taking a back seat in our great nation but I know with prayer He will be in the front seat again. The Pilgrims and other early settlers to the United States before it was the USA left for religious freedom. This is not my opinion this is a fact! No matter how many people disagree, this is history. The Founding Fathers were believers in God.

One of the great lies that have been taught for years is that it says in the first amendment of the Constitution, “separation of church and state.” This is not true! This quote is found in a letter the Thomas Jefferson wrote to the Danbury Baptist Association. It is our duty as citizens and as parents to teach our children these things. We cannot expect teachers to teach this at school. Yes, some great history teachers will teach these facts but many will not. Yet, as parents we expect teachers to do so.

Why I love America is simple, my grandparents taught me and the older grandchildren in their family to love our country. When we went to parades growing up we were taught to stand when the American Flag went by. Back then it was disrespectful not to, and my Grandpa Philpot would not have been okay with that. We knew growing up that we lived in the greatest country ever! The next thing my grandparents taught was the importance of voting. Other than my grandma saying, “Oh, hell Bob,” her next most important quote was, “If you don’t vote you can’t complain.” I remember when my grandfather died it was the day before Election Day when Vice President Bush was running against Governor Dukakis. I didn’t vote that morning I wanted to get to Utah as soon as I could. I remember my grandmother saying what good time I made on the trip. I explained that I had left very early. She then asked if I had waited for the polls to open so I could vote, I said, “No, I wanted to get here.” She was upset and reminded me that Grandpa Philpot would have wanted me to vote. This is one of the reasons that I take my kids to vote every year. I don’t early vote or mail in vote, mainly because I want the sticker so that my students will know how important it is.


So as we celebrate this great nation’s birthday in a few days we need to decide a few things. First, are you happy with the direction the country is taking? Second, do you want your children and your grandchildren to have to pay higher taxes to pay down the debt? Third, is government too big in your eyes? Fourth, are you happy with how your Senator or Congressman or Congresswoman has voted? Lastly, I would like to quote a President Ronald Regan quote, “Are you better off today than you were four years ago?”

It is not the governments’ job to take care of every little thing for us. One of my biggest problems with “Obama Care,” is the fact that people voted for it when they hadn’t read the bill. Now most of us don’t read the terms of agreement on things we sign up for on the internet. But, if I agree to that the company can always come back and say, “Well Flo Fallis you marked the box that said you read it so you have to agree.” But, there are Senators that have said, we didn’t need to read it to know it was good law. Really, because I think when I sent you to Washington reading was one of the requirements. There are parts of the bill that I think are important and I do think that something needs to be done with health care. I don’t think any person with any intelligence doesn’t think we need to do something.

So this Wednesday when you are eating your BBQ and watching the fireworks, talk to your kids about the importance of the day. It is not just another day to go out on the lake and play, or hang out with your friends. It is the birthday of the greatest nation on Earth. I am grateful and blessed to be a citizen of this great nation. God Bless America!

Bucket List

I have been thinking a lot about what is on my bucket list; no I am not dying or have a terrible disease, at least not that I know of. Growing up there were three big to do items on my list; become a wife, a mom, and a teacher. Well two out of three isn’t bad. Since then I have added one more item, go to a Major League Baseball game. I didn’t care where or which team was playing just that I could go. Well this weekend my bucket list will be complete. You might say, “Flo, what about being a wife?” Yes, at sometime in the future that would be nice also.


As I think about my list being complete I wonder what I should add. I am not a real outdoors person so going camping in the woods for a week won’t cut it. I am not thinking that skydiving out of a plane sounds like such a good idea. So what should I add? I was thinking that one thing I would like to do is to get my masters degree in Educational Leadership. Special Education is something I would really like to get it in but, I don’t want to work solely in SPED, and with that degree that is what would happen. I have thought about getting a passport. It is something that I should have but, it isn’t like I have anywhere to go and why get a passport if you are only going to Nevada, Utah, or California for vacation. I would like to become a crafty person but I really think either you are or you aren’t and heaven knows I have really tried my hand at that.


So what do you do when everything on your list is complete and you can’t think of anything else to do? I guess you ask for help. I need some ideas that might make my list. This might seem silly to some people, of course those people have a long list or have done a whole bunch of stuff. I would like some ideas from my friends those of you who know me best. You might have some insight that I can’t think of. I am pretty content with the life I have now. Yes, there are some things I wish I could change, but those are things that I can’t do anything about now. You can’t live in the past because if you do you will make yourself sick.

So please let me know what you think I should add to my list. I would hate to think that at the age of 42 (I know I look way younger) I have accomplished everything I wanted to do.

My Son

This week is a monumental week for Tyler. He will graduate from Telesis with honors as the Valedictorian of his class. He is a natural student, meaning that he is able to do what is asked of him without a lot of effort. There are people that have to work hard for their grades and then there are those that it learning comes naturally; he is the second type of student. These are usually the students that teachers don’t care for because they don’t have to put forth as much effort as the other students in the class. Tyler like natural students can at sometimes be a pain in a teacher’s side but when the teacher truly cares about him he try hard to please that teacher. As a young boy Tyler succeeded in everything he did. He was good at soccer, the two years he played. He took some karate when he was younger and was very good at that. He went through a phase of only video games and he as very good at that. So good, that I was worried that he was going to end up being one of those boys that played Dungeons and Dragons in my basement. Then I realized I wasn’t going to get him the game and I didn’t have a basement. . Lucky me! Not that being a nerd is a bad thing, heck his mother is one of the biggest nerds ever. I just wanted him to be a social nerd that knew how to talk to girlsHe was in Babes in Toyland when he was 9 but didn’t do anything on stage until his sophomore year of high school. After doing The Secret Garden, Tyler caught the acting bug, and the rest is what they call history. He started taking dance his junior year to help him move more gracefully. He has enjoyed dance and you can see that when he is on stage. He is a natural actor or I should say a natural funny man. I really like to think that came from me because I am very funny. He is a very sarcastic person and I know that is all me. Sometimes when he says things I wonder why he would say what he has said, but then I know why. Like his momma sometimes he has Homer Simpson moments and just says what he is thinking before thinking it through. I am proud of Tyler in all that he has accomplished but I would like to touch on just a few things to brag about. First off, he is a good boy. We have had some uncomfortable talks these last few weeks and I am guessing more to come, but I am glad that he feels like he can talk to me about anything. Well maybe not everything. Second, he does try to do what is right. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes, but Tyler does try to choose the right and most of the time succeeds. Third, the love he has for his sisters. This might surprise some of you but, he does love both of his sisters. I have heard and seen him defend Katie and Noelle. Yes, he would rather hang out with Noelle but he does love both of them. I know when Katie and Tyler are older they will be close like Kathy, Amy, and I are now. Finally, he has had to grow up and take on a different role in the last 18 months. He has become more of the taxi driver than I am. He has to keep track to dance schedules, glee time, and other important places that not only he has to be too but also where the girls have to be too. I love my kids equally! They all have different qualities that make them special, but this week is Tyler’s week. I can still remember his first cry and the doctor placing him on my chest. I can remember being so sick in the hospital but worried that the nurse who had to test Tyler for strep didn’t have on the correct type of tag. I can remember when he started school and told me, “Mom you can shake my hand now because I am too big to give kisses to anymore.” I can remember when he was baptized and received the Holy Ghost, when he received the priesthood. Moms are like elephants we don’t forget. I can’t believe he is old enough to graduate. It seems like yesterday when he was my little baby boy and now he is a man. I would like to personally thank a few teachers that have really helped Tyler these last few years. As a teacher I know the difference you can make in a child’s life. First Coach Denney, thank you for making my son feel that athletes are not the most important group of kids at school. You taught him that there are some coaches that put grades first. This says so much about your Chris! Mr. Leckrone, you have taught Tyler to use punctuation. This has not been an easy task for you. You have also taught him to think and ask the tough questions. You have let him explore his creative side and this is what has helped him write beautiful poems and two wonderful screen plays. Last but not least by any stretch of the imagination is Mr. Stewart. This man has spent hours helping Tyler get his scholarship. He has also taken Tyler under his wing as a mentor. He has been one of Tyler’s biggest cheerleaders at school and I thank him for that. Josh, you will be the guy that Tyler goes to when he has questions these next few years. I can’t ever thank you enough. Tyler, I love you and I am very proud of you. You will accomplish many great things in your life. I would like to give you some advice that one day you might find important. Pray always, this will help you get through the good times but it will help you especially through the tough times. Second, remember who you are and that your name is not only yours but it belongs to your entire family. Don’t do anything that will ruin the reputation your name has. Third, be kind to those around you. This is not always easy to do, but you will go farther in life if you do. Remember to use the magic words please and thank you. Thank you is so important to say to people. Last but not least, remember to not do anything that you will not be able to look yourself in the mirror for later. If you do then repent as soon as you can, Jesus Christ is your personal Savior and he wants you to be happy. Sin will never make you happy in the long run; it just makes you feel good in the moment. Well one more thing, remember who you are and what you have been taught. I love you son!

Why I Do What I Do

It is Mother’s Day and I thought it would be appropriate to write today, about the importance of mothers. I have been blessed to have three wonderful mothers in my life. First, my own mom Maggie Howells, she gave birth to me and taught me the importance of taking a chance and following a dream. Second, my step mom Nola Philpot, she taught me about the importance of being a listener. Third, is Kim Fronek, she taught me that just because you are not blood does not mean you can’t love someone like a mom. Each of these women is important to my life and has led me to become the mom I am today. Now I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my biggest cheerleader growing up and that was my Grandma Philpot. All three moms know that they have a piece of my heart but growing up for me would have been less than desirable if my Grandma Philpot wasn’t there. I often feel bad for my cousins and younger siblings because they didn’t get to see or know the Grandma I saw. My mom like all mothers had her flaws. She was an excellent cook, cleaner, canner, and seamstress. It is sad when your lowest grade in my entire education comes in sewing and you had the best teacher in your own home. My mom taught us to work together and try hard. Nola had to become a mom instantly to a teenage daughter. That alone is worth a ribbon. Kim came into my life when I needed a mom close by. We had just moved to Havasu and didn’t know very many people. I was her visiting teacher and the rest is what they say, history. Each of these ladies has shown me what I need to do to become a better mom. I am not a perfect mom, far from it. I have my struggles like all other moms, mine just happen to be more obvious than others. My biggest struggle with motherhood is my homemaking skills. This does not include my house or laundry just my lack of cooking abilities (or desires) and craftiness or lack of. When you grow up in a “Mormon” household there are some expectations. First, cooking is the most important thing you can do for your family. My sisters enjoyed cooking so I was happy to let them stay in the kitchen and I would fold laundry. Trust me there was not complaining from my siblings or the mom of the house while I was folding laundry and not cooking. This left me as a poor excuse as a mom. I can cook, but I hate it! I am not a cook baker either as my friend Brian and Leslie will attest to. My skills as a mom have been housecleaning, laundry, organization, and calendaring. These are all very important skills to have as a mom. This does not mean that sometimes my house looks like a hurricane it or that I am late picking someone up from a certain place. It does mean I am a work in process. My greatest skill is my love for my kids. I love them more than anything else on earth. This is the key to being a great mom. This week I had an opportunity to take off my mother’s hat for a few hours. It was fun and I loved being a woman and having someone take care of me for a change. There isn’t anyone that doesn’t love getting gifts. I enjoyed being told I was wonderful and beautiful. Who wouldn’t? I felt like a how many women must feel when a gentleman treats them nicely. I have been reminded this week of my high moral stance on certain items. I have reminded people that my high moral stance doesn’t need to be everyone’s but when the children were younger there were promises made on what their moral up bringing would be. Now that I am a single mom I have to keep those moral stances no matter what. This week I thought long and hard about the moral high ground I have kept. This is was very easy when no one was interested or when someone was 7,500 miles away. This was not so easy when they were right in front of me. What I learned was the reason why my moral high ground is so important to me is that I have to be the example no matter what. I also learned that someone would lose respect for me if I all of the sudden threw out “rule number 1.” This does not mean I am right on everything, it just means I am right in decisions that I made long ago. So the reason why I do what I do is because I want my kids to know that when mom says something it is not just lip service. When I say certain things I mean it and I also follow it. It is not always easy to do the right thing but it is always right! Wrong is never right and right is never wrong. I would like to conclude by quoting President Abraham Lincoln, “All that I am or ever hope to be I owe to my angel Mother.” Thanks again to all of those moms to my kids and myself.

What Matters Most

So I have been trying to write a blog since I wrote my now famous one on baseball. It is hard to top that blog because I really do love baseball. I wrote one last week and deleted it because I didn’t want it to bite me in the rear later, plus I was doing what was done to me and that never solves the problem. So here is my blog on what matters most. Saturday started off like most other Saturdays in the Fallis home; breakfast, laundry, shopping, and of course baseball. I was sitting next to one of my friends and her son was pitching. This was his first time pitching after coming off the dl. She was stressed and giving him a few pointers. She then told me she was going to have a heart attack. I informed her I knew CPR, she then let me know if that happened I was to call the fire department and I needed to choose what fireman gave her mouth to mouth. We laughed and then the next inning he was playing first base again. I was at a friend’s house when I got a very disturbing phone call on Saturday night. Tyler called in a panic and told me he was having a hard time seeing in the light. He was scared and I told him we would see the eye doctor on Monday. I didn’t think much of it during dinner and called my friend (the pitcher’s mom) after my dinner. She asked some questions that I didn’t know the answer to. I told her I would find out and I would call her tomorrow. Then I did what you should never do, go onto the internet. I am sure that some of these medical websites are very good but, it can cause moms undue stress and pressure. By Sunday morning I was a wreck, I had hardly slept the night before and it really showed. Tyler had answered one of the questions that the eye doctor had and that was not the answer I wanted. Again, I had spent too much time looking stuff up and was now an expert in the area. The only problem is I didn’t understand what they were talking about and this caused me to worry more. I knew this; Tyler was very nervous and worried about his eyes. His eye pressure was high last year when he had his checkup and high eye pressure is a sign of glaucoma. He hasn’t once complained about his eyes other than the light is causing him stress and that was almost a year ago. So I knew I needed to know worry. I talked to someone else who knew what they were talking about and I had some idea of what to expect today. Tyler got up this morning for seminary with I am sure very little sleep, I know this because there was a lot of tossing and turning in my bed and I heard him up quite a few times. He posted on FB the following, “I'm beyond nervous for today. I am already terrified about going to the doctors but I'm terrified because I think my eyes are getting worse....” This does not make a mom feel any better. I went to the doctors and I got to have my heart attack moment with my baseball friend. Tyler’s pressures in his eyes are at 28. This is not real good but it could be way worse. Tyler will start some meds on Friday that will help prevent him from losing his sight. He won’t go blind today so that is a great sign. He also will be able to watch movies and read books him momma doesn’t like. His plans for making some extra cash won’t work out. (Sorry Tyler, you are not going to sale MJ) Today I figured out what matters most, not that I hadn’t already known but this helped me clarify my list. First, my kids mean more than anything in the world to me. Like most moms or parents that I know I would take a bullet for my kids. Second, the health of my kids is more important than my own health. Third, prayers work, we didn’t get the news I wanted today but we got news that was still a blessing. Today’s news could have been a lot worse. Lastly, I am blessed more than I deserve to be. Our Father in Heaven wants to bless us and today I felt those blessing. I am grateful for priesthood blessings and those men who are worthy to give them. I am also grateful to those wives that let their husband serve my family last night. I had more than one friend tell me they would drop what they were doing so that they could be with me today if it was bad news. Tyler’s journey is only beginning but, because of his support staff. This includes all of his friends and their mommas. I am going to need everyone on his support staff and mine to remind him to wear a hat while at work. This will give his eyes a little more protection. Tomorrow is another day and I will sleep like a baby tonight, if I can get it cool enough in the house. I am looking forward another baseball game, checking spelling homework, and the normalcy of my life. Thank goodness for great blessings.