Year in Review

This time of year there are lists of the top ten stories of the year. Rather it is news stories, sports plays, commercials, movies, or TV shows. In years past I have enjoyed reading and watching what the top stories are. I would say this year in the news the death of Osama Bin Laden, the rise of the Arab Spring, the demonstrations on Wall Street, and Tyler’s favorite news story, The Green Bay Packers winning the Super Bowl. Next year one if not the top news story will be the 2012 presidential election.

This year started out like any other year. I was excited that Tyler was going to get his Eagle Scout. That happened in January the day after my birthday. No mother has ever been so proud. I remember that day getting everything ready. Tyler had completed his project but the paperwork was a project within itself. I now know why mothers get a pin. We had a nice reception at the house and I thought my life was perfect.

The next day, January 30th my entire life changed, I came home from church. I had talked to my sister Amy and she told me she was getting a divorce. I was sad for her but happy that I had a happy, strong marriage. After I got home I went into the study, Jason hadn’t gone to church that day. I think he was sick. I told him what Amy had said, and then Jason dropped the bomb. He told me he wanted a divorce and this was the perfect time since I brought it up.

I was devastated; I called my parents and then two of my sisters. Jason went to his parents’ house and talked to them. I then decided I would need to talk to our brand new bishop. The Bishop had been called as bishop the Sunday before, I didn’t want to make the call but I knew that is what I had to do. The next morning I went to school. I felt terrible, I had missed Thursday and Friday of the previous week because I had bronchitis, and then with this news I felt even worse. I texted the executive clerk and told him it was an emergency that I had to see the Bishop with Jason. Now if you are LDS you know that Monday nights are not nights that the Bishop sees people, it is for Family Home Evening, so when he said he would meet with us I was relieved.

The meeting went well I thought, Jason promised the bishop he would give me 30 days. But, the next night he told the kids he would be moving out. That Wednesday he flew to Oregon to pick up his brother’s truck. Those first few weeks are like a blur, I do remember getting up, taking a shower, and going to work every day. I remember meeting with Bishop on Sundays to see how I was doing. I would spend my nights in my room crying after the kids went to bed wondering why my marriage had ended and blaming the only person I could. Myself.

February came and went and then in March I had to tell the kids all at different times of the day that their parents were getting divorced. I was not happy that I had to be the bearer of bad news again. I also was the one that got to tell Jason’s parents at a lunch date. I received a certified letter request in March, so I went to the post office to pick up my copy of the paperwork. I cried all the way to the post office, I went in signed for the envelope and then got in the car. I turned over the envelope and started to laugh, the postage was 6.66. It was a sign, because that was who I felt was responsible for my life falling apart.

April was uneventful but then on May 18, 2011 I felt fear for the first time in my entire life. I had been sacred before this day but I truly knew what fear was. A court clerk had misplaced a paper that said I had taken a parenting class. This is a requirement for custody in AZ. Jason called and said, “I have been awarded full custody of the kids. They don’t show that you took the parenting class.” I hung up the phone ran out of my classroom and upstairs to the principal’s office. I don’t remember coming down the stairs I do remember Jason calling back and saying to fax over the certificate the judge will relook at the case. That was the longest hour and a half in my life. You all know how it ended.

Summer came and went and we packed up the house and started back to school. September came and we moved. Well I should say my friends moved me. I learned that day how truly blessed I was to have such wonderful friends. Sometimes asking for help is harder than you think.

Fall came and went and now we are at the end of the year. This year has been rough, it has been hard, and it has been one big tear fest after another. But, and it is a big but! I have been blessed! I have learned who my true friends are, I have made new friends, and I have learned to say, “It is none of your business.” I have learned to do things by myself. I learned that girls sometimes have to learn to do boy jobs. (You know who you are that has shared that piece of advice)

The most important lesson learned is that I have a Savior and He loves me! He loves all of us, but he loves me. He wants me to be happy and live in peace. He wants me to come to him with the desires of my heart and He wants to give them to me. I have earned a masters degree in the Atonement of Christ this year. I didn’t think I was going to make it to the top of the hill but I think I just might be able to now.
I would also like to thank you my readers for your comments and prayers. I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. I know this is true. My goal for 2012 is to be the best Flo I can be. I am excited for 2012 because I have a feeling it might be my best year yet. Merry Christmas to all of readers and I hope that you have the happiest New Year.

Living in Peace

Last night my dad called me, he wanted to talk about a book that both of us had read. I explained that I was busy and I would call him today. My dad was not a big reader growing up, well he might have been but I didn’t see him read. He found a book series called, “Children of the Promise” there were five books set in WWII time. It was a very good series, he liked it because it was about his parents’ generation, I liked it because it had to do with WWII. The author Dean Hughes wrote a second series called “Hearts of the Children” and then one book about a granddaughter of the main character in the Children of the Promise series. We were discussing that book called, Promises to Keep. In this book the granddaughter has recently divorced from a bad marriage. She has a hard time being about to cope with the day to day life that happens when you are single. I had read this book about 3 or 4 years ago, while before I was single.

I was talking to my dad about unintended consequences of decisions made rather they are decisions that you make or others make for you. This is a hard issue for me to write about. But, I feel that it has to be written about. My dad wanted to know about how Diane’s story applied to me. I told him like Diane I just wanted to make out with a little bit of class and dignity. I do not know if that is true but I have tried. My dad also asked me who I go to when I need to talk. I talked to my sisters, I talked to Grandma and Grandpa Fronek, I have a great circle of friends, and most importantly I have a Heavenly Father who loves me.

My dad wondered how my Father in Heaven helped me. I know that sometimes prayers are answered by Heavenly Father, but they are not always answered in ways we think they are going to be. My prayers have been answered by the small things, answers found in the scriptures, lessons in church, and just talking to my friends. My dad then talked to be about the grandma in the story and the advice she gave Diane. She wanted to make sure that Diane was taking care of herself and being able to look herself in the mirror when it was done.

As moms we are good at taking care of ourselves. We specialize in making sure that our children are getting taken care of. I truly believe as moms that is what we are suppose to do. I love taking care of my children. I love making sure children are happy and doing what they enjoy doing. This does not mean that if they are not following rules it means that they are happy and healthy. One of the situations that has been very tough this year is not having someone else to help me with the day to day with the kids. I am blessed to have great kids. I know all moms feel this way, but I have been truly blessed with wonderful children. This again is an answer to prayers.

This time of year I think of Mary holding her new born baby. I remember what it was like to hold my own three children. Mary must have been a wonderful mother, we know this because He is the Only Begotten Son of our Father in Heaven. You know that Jesus loved his mother because he made sure she would be taken care of while he was hanging on the cross. I hope that my children share Christ’s love for his mother. As I spend this Christmas reflecting on decisions made I am glad that I will be able to look myself in the eye.