My Son

This week is a monumental week for Tyler. He will graduate from Telesis with honors as the Valedictorian of his class. He is a natural student, meaning that he is able to do what is asked of him without a lot of effort. There are people that have to work hard for their grades and then there are those that it learning comes naturally; he is the second type of student. These are usually the students that teachers don’t care for because they don’t have to put forth as much effort as the other students in the class. Tyler like natural students can at sometimes be a pain in a teacher’s side but when the teacher truly cares about him he try hard to please that teacher. As a young boy Tyler succeeded in everything he did. He was good at soccer, the two years he played. He took some karate when he was younger and was very good at that. He went through a phase of only video games and he as very good at that. So good, that I was worried that he was going to end up being one of those boys that played Dungeons and Dragons in my basement. Then I realized I wasn’t going to get him the game and I didn’t have a basement. . Lucky me! Not that being a nerd is a bad thing, heck his mother is one of the biggest nerds ever. I just wanted him to be a social nerd that knew how to talk to girlsHe was in Babes in Toyland when he was 9 but didn’t do anything on stage until his sophomore year of high school. After doing The Secret Garden, Tyler caught the acting bug, and the rest is what they call history. He started taking dance his junior year to help him move more gracefully. He has enjoyed dance and you can see that when he is on stage. He is a natural actor or I should say a natural funny man. I really like to think that came from me because I am very funny. He is a very sarcastic person and I know that is all me. Sometimes when he says things I wonder why he would say what he has said, but then I know why. Like his momma sometimes he has Homer Simpson moments and just says what he is thinking before thinking it through. I am proud of Tyler in all that he has accomplished but I would like to touch on just a few things to brag about. First off, he is a good boy. We have had some uncomfortable talks these last few weeks and I am guessing more to come, but I am glad that he feels like he can talk to me about anything. Well maybe not everything. Second, he does try to do what is right. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes, but Tyler does try to choose the right and most of the time succeeds. Third, the love he has for his sisters. This might surprise some of you but, he does love both of his sisters. I have heard and seen him defend Katie and Noelle. Yes, he would rather hang out with Noelle but he does love both of them. I know when Katie and Tyler are older they will be close like Kathy, Amy, and I are now. Finally, he has had to grow up and take on a different role in the last 18 months. He has become more of the taxi driver than I am. He has to keep track to dance schedules, glee time, and other important places that not only he has to be too but also where the girls have to be too. I love my kids equally! They all have different qualities that make them special, but this week is Tyler’s week. I can still remember his first cry and the doctor placing him on my chest. I can remember being so sick in the hospital but worried that the nurse who had to test Tyler for strep didn’t have on the correct type of tag. I can remember when he started school and told me, “Mom you can shake my hand now because I am too big to give kisses to anymore.” I can remember when he was baptized and received the Holy Ghost, when he received the priesthood. Moms are like elephants we don’t forget. I can’t believe he is old enough to graduate. It seems like yesterday when he was my little baby boy and now he is a man. I would like to personally thank a few teachers that have really helped Tyler these last few years. As a teacher I know the difference you can make in a child’s life. First Coach Denney, thank you for making my son feel that athletes are not the most important group of kids at school. You taught him that there are some coaches that put grades first. This says so much about your Chris! Mr. Leckrone, you have taught Tyler to use punctuation. This has not been an easy task for you. You have also taught him to think and ask the tough questions. You have let him explore his creative side and this is what has helped him write beautiful poems and two wonderful screen plays. Last but not least by any stretch of the imagination is Mr. Stewart. This man has spent hours helping Tyler get his scholarship. He has also taken Tyler under his wing as a mentor. He has been one of Tyler’s biggest cheerleaders at school and I thank him for that. Josh, you will be the guy that Tyler goes to when he has questions these next few years. I can’t ever thank you enough. Tyler, I love you and I am very proud of you. You will accomplish many great things in your life. I would like to give you some advice that one day you might find important. Pray always, this will help you get through the good times but it will help you especially through the tough times. Second, remember who you are and that your name is not only yours but it belongs to your entire family. Don’t do anything that will ruin the reputation your name has. Third, be kind to those around you. This is not always easy to do, but you will go farther in life if you do. Remember to use the magic words please and thank you. Thank you is so important to say to people. Last but not least, remember to not do anything that you will not be able to look yourself in the mirror for later. If you do then repent as soon as you can, Jesus Christ is your personal Savior and he wants you to be happy. Sin will never make you happy in the long run; it just makes you feel good in the moment. Well one more thing, remember who you are and what you have been taught. I love you son!

Why I Do What I Do

It is Mother’s Day and I thought it would be appropriate to write today, about the importance of mothers. I have been blessed to have three wonderful mothers in my life. First, my own mom Maggie Howells, she gave birth to me and taught me the importance of taking a chance and following a dream. Second, my step mom Nola Philpot, she taught me about the importance of being a listener. Third, is Kim Fronek, she taught me that just because you are not blood does not mean you can’t love someone like a mom. Each of these women is important to my life and has led me to become the mom I am today. Now I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my biggest cheerleader growing up and that was my Grandma Philpot. All three moms know that they have a piece of my heart but growing up for me would have been less than desirable if my Grandma Philpot wasn’t there. I often feel bad for my cousins and younger siblings because they didn’t get to see or know the Grandma I saw. My mom like all mothers had her flaws. She was an excellent cook, cleaner, canner, and seamstress. It is sad when your lowest grade in my entire education comes in sewing and you had the best teacher in your own home. My mom taught us to work together and try hard. Nola had to become a mom instantly to a teenage daughter. That alone is worth a ribbon. Kim came into my life when I needed a mom close by. We had just moved to Havasu and didn’t know very many people. I was her visiting teacher and the rest is what they say, history. Each of these ladies has shown me what I need to do to become a better mom. I am not a perfect mom, far from it. I have my struggles like all other moms, mine just happen to be more obvious than others. My biggest struggle with motherhood is my homemaking skills. This does not include my house or laundry just my lack of cooking abilities (or desires) and craftiness or lack of. When you grow up in a “Mormon” household there are some expectations. First, cooking is the most important thing you can do for your family. My sisters enjoyed cooking so I was happy to let them stay in the kitchen and I would fold laundry. Trust me there was not complaining from my siblings or the mom of the house while I was folding laundry and not cooking. This left me as a poor excuse as a mom. I can cook, but I hate it! I am not a cook baker either as my friend Brian and Leslie will attest to. My skills as a mom have been housecleaning, laundry, organization, and calendaring. These are all very important skills to have as a mom. This does not mean that sometimes my house looks like a hurricane it or that I am late picking someone up from a certain place. It does mean I am a work in process. My greatest skill is my love for my kids. I love them more than anything else on earth. This is the key to being a great mom. This week I had an opportunity to take off my mother’s hat for a few hours. It was fun and I loved being a woman and having someone take care of me for a change. There isn’t anyone that doesn’t love getting gifts. I enjoyed being told I was wonderful and beautiful. Who wouldn’t? I felt like a how many women must feel when a gentleman treats them nicely. I have been reminded this week of my high moral stance on certain items. I have reminded people that my high moral stance doesn’t need to be everyone’s but when the children were younger there were promises made on what their moral up bringing would be. Now that I am a single mom I have to keep those moral stances no matter what. This week I thought long and hard about the moral high ground I have kept. This is was very easy when no one was interested or when someone was 7,500 miles away. This was not so easy when they were right in front of me. What I learned was the reason why my moral high ground is so important to me is that I have to be the example no matter what. I also learned that someone would lose respect for me if I all of the sudden threw out “rule number 1.” This does not mean I am right on everything, it just means I am right in decisions that I made long ago. So the reason why I do what I do is because I want my kids to know that when mom says something it is not just lip service. When I say certain things I mean it and I also follow it. It is not always easy to do the right thing but it is always right! Wrong is never right and right is never wrong. I would like to conclude by quoting President Abraham Lincoln, “All that I am or ever hope to be I owe to my angel Mother.” Thanks again to all of those moms to my kids and myself.