It has been a few days since Thursday. I can honestly glad to have that day behind me. Things are back to normal and life goes on. What I mean by that is laundry, grocery shopping, visits to the library, and going to Wal Mart mean your life is normal. Nothing has changed. I am grateful to family and friends who have helped. I am blessed to have you in my life.
On a post script my sisters (yes more than one of you) wanted me to clarify the abuser that I mentioned. This abuse happened at the hands of someone that is not related to me at all. I have been blessed to have good men in my family that have been taught to protect women not hurt them.
Well it is Saturday of a three day weekend which means that I get to enjoy a nap. Thank you for your feedback. Enjoy this weekend. Please take time to remember those who died fighting for our great nation. We in Havasu will hope to not see too many pasties and speedos:)
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
A New Day
Well tomorrow is D-day, no I am not speaking of Normandy. Tomorrow my divorce will be final. I am now taking ownership of this because I have to. I have thought a lot about tomorrow the last few weeks. I do not know how I am going to feel or even what emotions I should have. I am sad and heartbroken, not because of the divorce but because I could not make my marriage work. You see I am a product of a divorce home and that means my chances of getting a divorce were higher than others. Now my children are going to be in that statistic.
One thing I can say for sure is that my kids are not handling this as bad as I did. When my parent got divorced, I was in fifth grade. I went from a seventh grade reading level to a second grade in a matter of months. Most of my children's friend's parents have no idea because they are acting the same. Their grades have not slipped and they have stayed on the straight and narrow. I have given them more leeway but they have not taken advantage.
There has also been peace and healing at home. We (the kids and I) have come together making our family stronger. This has not been easy, but my loving Bishop asked me to share with them why the divorce was happening. This was tough because it meant looking back into my past that I have tried to stay hidden from my children. When abuse happens of any kind as the victim, you have two choices. The first choice is you can use it as an excuse to hurt other people. The second choice is to move on and remember the Golden Rule. When it comes to abuse, I tried to move forward but it is not always easy. This is not to say that Jason was the abuser. I want to be clear on that! Nevertheless, it did affect our marriage.
These last few months I have learned a few things. Number one, the world does not stop spinning because you are knocked off your axis. I was stunned in February when people were still happy. I could not understand why my world was ending and others had everything they wanted. Number two, a smile goes along way. The comment I have received the most has been, "Flo, I had no idea. Whenever I saw you, you had a smile on." Trust me the smile was not working on the inside but I needed to smile for my own kids and for those parents whose kids I have during the day. Third, the devil is in the details. The small stuff usually breaks the camel's back. Fourth, it is okay to laugh! The day I had to go sign for the papers at the post office was difficult. I did not want to sign for them but when I got in the car, I noticed the postage. It was $6.66, I am not kidding so instead of crying I laughed. Fifth, and most importantly there is an Atonement. We know about Christ suffering for our sins but there is also the masters course of that plan. That course teaches us that He also suffered for our heartache as well.
One thing I can say for sure is that my kids are not handling this as bad as I did. When my parent got divorced, I was in fifth grade. I went from a seventh grade reading level to a second grade in a matter of months. Most of my children's friend's parents have no idea because they are acting the same. Their grades have not slipped and they have stayed on the straight and narrow. I have given them more leeway but they have not taken advantage.
There has also been peace and healing at home. We (the kids and I) have come together making our family stronger. This has not been easy, but my loving Bishop asked me to share with them why the divorce was happening. This was tough because it meant looking back into my past that I have tried to stay hidden from my children. When abuse happens of any kind as the victim, you have two choices. The first choice is you can use it as an excuse to hurt other people. The second choice is to move on and remember the Golden Rule. When it comes to abuse, I tried to move forward but it is not always easy. This is not to say that Jason was the abuser. I want to be clear on that! Nevertheless, it did affect our marriage.
These last few months I have learned a few things. Number one, the world does not stop spinning because you are knocked off your axis. I was stunned in February when people were still happy. I could not understand why my world was ending and others had everything they wanted. Number two, a smile goes along way. The comment I have received the most has been, "Flo, I had no idea. Whenever I saw you, you had a smile on." Trust me the smile was not working on the inside but I needed to smile for my own kids and for those parents whose kids I have during the day. Third, the devil is in the details. The small stuff usually breaks the camel's back. Fourth, it is okay to laugh! The day I had to go sign for the papers at the post office was difficult. I did not want to sign for them but when I got in the car, I noticed the postage. It was $6.66, I am not kidding so instead of crying I laughed. Fifth, and most importantly there is an Atonement. We know about Christ suffering for our sins but there is also the masters course of that plan. That course teaches us that He also suffered for our heartache as well.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Moving Forward
Boy a lot can change in a few weeks. In a few weeks, school will be out and many of us will be going on vacation. (I know for some of my Havasu friends the last day is tomorrow but I have a few weeks left) I love summer time because it is time for all teachers to have some much deserved R and R. My teacher friends will veg for a few weeks but then they will be busy planning for next school year. I myself will be packing.
I hate moving I have moved 2 times in 15 years and at the beginning of the school year will be moving again. While the moving part is scary to me, the being on my own is worse. I do not know how to do a lot of stuff. I can teach children the three R's but I do not know how to take a bed apart, reconnect wires to electronics, and basic other stuff. I never learned. I never need to know these things. Every time I have moved, I have packed the majority of the boxes but the other part was Jason's job.
I know another reason I am nervous is finding a place on my own. Again, this has always been a team effort but now I am athletic director and coach. I worry about having saved enough money to move into a new place and being able to live on a tight budget. These are normal worries to most people but I feel very overwhelmed. I know that the actual moving day will not be a problem. I know that I have friends that will take care of the hard labor. I worry about that first night of being in my own place.
I am scared but excited to start on this new adventure. I am sure that I will learn a lot about things I did not know. I am lucky that Tyler and his friends will help because I know they can figure out where all the wires go. I am sad I will lose my house but Tyler keeps reminding me it is not anything more than a house. We will be able to find a new home.
If you know of a good rental let me know. I do not want to spend more than $800.00 a month. I would like to eat and pay for electricity.
I hate moving I have moved 2 times in 15 years and at the beginning of the school year will be moving again. While the moving part is scary to me, the being on my own is worse. I do not know how to do a lot of stuff. I can teach children the three R's but I do not know how to take a bed apart, reconnect wires to electronics, and basic other stuff. I never learned. I never need to know these things. Every time I have moved, I have packed the majority of the boxes but the other part was Jason's job.
I know another reason I am nervous is finding a place on my own. Again, this has always been a team effort but now I am athletic director and coach. I worry about having saved enough money to move into a new place and being able to live on a tight budget. These are normal worries to most people but I feel very overwhelmed. I know that the actual moving day will not be a problem. I know that I have friends that will take care of the hard labor. I worry about that first night of being in my own place.
I am scared but excited to start on this new adventure. I am sure that I will learn a lot about things I did not know. I am lucky that Tyler and his friends will help because I know they can figure out where all the wires go. I am sad I will lose my house but Tyler keeps reminding me it is not anything more than a house. We will be able to find a new home.
If you know of a good rental let me know. I do not want to spend more than $800.00 a month. I would like to eat and pay for electricity.
Monday, May 9, 2011
A New Chapter
This year has been tough for the Fallis family. We have dealt with a great deal in five short months. I have been contemplating the changes and the effects on the kids. All of our lives are chapters in a book. Some of the chapters are long others are short. Some are happy chapters and some are full of tragedy. I have had both in my life but the chapter that is dated 2011 has been one of happiness and tragedy.
Saturday Noelle checked the mail and there was the paperwork about the final date of my marriage. I was not surprised to get it, just taken back. I cried and thought I was crazy for doing so. I am a big girl and I need to act like an adult. It wasn’t until a friend reminded me that this means this chapter in my life is coming to an end.
Like a book this is a short chapter in this long section of my book. This section has been a happy one full of the births of my three beautiful children who I love more than anything. There has been some sad times but mostly happy. I have enjoyed being married and I am grateful for those experiences. One sad chapter cannot take away that entire section.
You might ask why and to be honest I don’t want to share. It was not because of any wrong doing on either part. The kids are doing well and they haven’t changed their behavior. I am lucky to say that the divorce has been sad but Jason and I have tried to remain civil. I know that sometimes this has been hard but, it has been necessary. I learned a few things from my parents’ divorce and one was the kids are the only people that get hurt when you are mean to each other. One thing I have tried to hold my head high and smile. This has not always been easy but it has been helpful.
I have been extremely blessed to have my education where I can teach. I have also had to rely on our Father in Heaven to help me know what to do. It is hard when the person that you consulted on decisions no longer there.
In the end I want to say this section of the book is not going to need a rewrite. It is fine the way it is. I have been blessed to have been married to someone that completed my bucket list. I wanted to be a mom and a teacher I have been able to do both.
I am looking forward to the new section and chapters in my book. I hope that there is more happiness than sadness. Hopefully there will times of health not sickness. I know one thing that will be in this chapter a mother’s love for her children.
Saturday Noelle checked the mail and there was the paperwork about the final date of my marriage. I was not surprised to get it, just taken back. I cried and thought I was crazy for doing so. I am a big girl and I need to act like an adult. It wasn’t until a friend reminded me that this means this chapter in my life is coming to an end.
Like a book this is a short chapter in this long section of my book. This section has been a happy one full of the births of my three beautiful children who I love more than anything. There has been some sad times but mostly happy. I have enjoyed being married and I am grateful for those experiences. One sad chapter cannot take away that entire section.
You might ask why and to be honest I don’t want to share. It was not because of any wrong doing on either part. The kids are doing well and they haven’t changed their behavior. I am lucky to say that the divorce has been sad but Jason and I have tried to remain civil. I know that sometimes this has been hard but, it has been necessary. I learned a few things from my parents’ divorce and one was the kids are the only people that get hurt when you are mean to each other. One thing I have tried to hold my head high and smile. This has not always been easy but it has been helpful.
I have been extremely blessed to have my education where I can teach. I have also had to rely on our Father in Heaven to help me know what to do. It is hard when the person that you consulted on decisions no longer there.
In the end I want to say this section of the book is not going to need a rewrite. It is fine the way it is. I have been blessed to have been married to someone that completed my bucket list. I wanted to be a mom and a teacher I have been able to do both.
I am looking forward to the new section and chapters in my book. I hope that there is more happiness than sadness. Hopefully there will times of health not sickness. I know one thing that will be in this chapter a mother’s love for her children.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I LOVE TO READ
I finished an amazing book last night, The Hunger Games. I love to read. I don't know if that is a gift that comes with being a teacher or a mom, but I love to read. I loved reading when I was a little girl. Some of my fondest memories is reading with my Grandma Philpot. She was a reader too. When she died there had to be a ton of boxes full of books. She would always get me books from Deseret Books because she received a discount there. She loved historical fiction and I wonder if that is where my love of historical fiction came from. I often get asked, "Mrs. Fallis what book would you recommend for my child?" So I thought I should make a list. Please note that these are my favorite books, just because I like them does not mean your children or you will like them. Kindergarten Books: Margaret Hillert books are great because they have sight words in them. She uses those words most of the time. What are sight words, words that we see in writing most of the time. These might also be known as most common words. I also love the Biscuit books (Biscuit is a cute dog) First Grade: Depending on if you have a fluent reader or a reader that is still sounding out most words this list will change. I love the Henry and Mudge Books, there is nothing like an adventure with a dog that doesn't die. Too many dog books come to an unhappy ending. Clifford is another series that is good for this age child. I also love the James Marshall Fox books and Three by the Sea series. They are funny and Fox is a goofy character that doesn't like his little sister hanging around all the time and kids can relate to that. Second Grade: Robert Munsch books, NOT I LOVE YOU FOREVER. I don't want to read a book that I will cry in every time I read it. My favorite book from him is Andrew's Loose Tooth. This is a pee your pants funny book. I also love for chapter books The Magic Tree House series and Horrible Harry series. I like to read the Junie B. Jones books aloud but I don't like her improper use of grammar. The problem is most of the kids that like those books don't understand what she is saying is wrong. Third Grade: Tomie de Paola, Noelle has recently discovered him and loves him. I like that a lot of his books are about his family. I love Grandma Upstairs and Grandma Downstairs. I also like the Time Warp Trio books and Jake Maddox. Jake is into all the cool things like dirt bike riding, skateboarding, and race car driving to name a few. For girls the Airy Fairy books are very cute and so are the Fashion Kitty books. Fashion Kitty books are graphic novels just for those of you who don't like those kinds of books. For 4-8 grade kids I think Lois Lowry is terrific, I think kids should read the Giver at least three times in their life. One in 6th or 7th grade, one as a SR. and then one as a parent. It will speak to you differently each time. I love Roald Dahl because he has a great imagination and kids need to use their imagination more. Harry Potter is a must at this age. Most girls will want to read the Twilight books but book four is way too mature for this group. (Remember this is my opinion so if you've let your daughter or son read them that is your right.) 9-12 I think you should go back to some of the classics, Jane Eyre, The Scarlet Letter, The Count of Monte Cristo, and of course To Kill a Mocking Bird. Here are my ideas and views.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2011
I have been thinking a lot about this post. I don't really care for New Year's Resolutions because by my birthday I have not completed one resolution. Not even close. This year as I thought about goals I was reminded of a story about Benjamin Franklin. We know that Benjamin Franklin few a kite and was struck by lightning. Some of us might know that he was one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. Others might know that he was a goal keeper. Most of us are goal setters but we don't keep them. Well, Benjamin did. He wrote down thirteen values he wanted to have in his life and did what he needed to do to make them present in his everyday life. I read a story that he would write down a goal and keep it in his shirt pocket for 28 days because then it would become a habit. He didn't work on all of his goals at one. This might be the key.
So I have decided that I will come up with 13 things that I need to work on and work on them one at a time. Then after I master 1 in 28 days I can move on to the next and keep 13 by then end of 2011. Well now comes the hard part picking 13 things I need to work on. We all know I am like Mary Poppins, "Practically perfect in every way."
For my first and second 28 days it will be to get back on the horse. WORK OUT!!! I did this pretty successfully in 2010 but I need to master this first.
Third : Make time for momma. Ladies this is tough. Somedays spending 2 minutes in the bathroom going potty is a good thing. I am going to do what I love doing read! The best book I read in 2010 was The Help by Kathryn Stockett if you haven't read it I would get to the library ASAP. I need to show my children my passion for learning.
Fourth: Keep a journal. Once a week update my blog or FB because this is a modern day journal.
Fifth: Don't sweat the small stuff! IF things aren't as perfect as they should be things will still work out. I am a mom that works two jobs and Jason has three. There are going to be days that dishes are still in the sink. Don't get the scream machine out. (That is Jason's pet name for my voice)
Sixth: Love harder, do I share those feelings of love I have enough? To spell LOVE with kids it is TIME. I need to spend more one on one time with my kids expecially Tyler and Katie.
Seventh: Get organized, I am organized to a fault at school. What do I mean, don't touch my desk. Things are at a 90 degree angle and in the proper place. Don't move books on the selves or have desks not in a row because I can't function. At home this is the opposite my closest is a wreck. I need to spend one month doing some heavy cleaning and organizing. When we are organized we more effective people.
Eighth: Keep up with what needs to be done. The reason I hate ironing is that I wait until I have 30 shirts to do. If I spent an hour a week doing ironing it would be done and caught up. I don't like putting grades in the computer if it takes more than an hour. I hate separating papers after two weeks. Why because I am always playing catch up. I need to stop playing catch up and just get caught up.
Ninth: I guess I need to come up with four more goals. I guess if you are like Mary Poppins you really only need eight goals a year.
I hope that my family and friends have a wonderful new year!
So I have decided that I will come up with 13 things that I need to work on and work on them one at a time. Then after I master 1 in 28 days I can move on to the next and keep 13 by then end of 2011. Well now comes the hard part picking 13 things I need to work on. We all know I am like Mary Poppins, "Practically perfect in every way."
First: Faith. I need to go back to the basics and pray and study scriptures with my whole heart. I need to not have a causual relationship with our Father in Heaven I need to have a Father Daughter realationship. I need to not wait until I am in the life boat to really plead with him.
For my first and second 28 days it will be to get back on the horse. WORK OUT!!! I did this pretty successfully in 2010 but I need to master this first.
Third : Make time for momma. Ladies this is tough. Somedays spending 2 minutes in the bathroom going potty is a good thing. I am going to do what I love doing read! The best book I read in 2010 was The Help by Kathryn Stockett if you haven't read it I would get to the library ASAP. I need to show my children my passion for learning.
Fourth: Keep a journal. Once a week update my blog or FB because this is a modern day journal.
Fifth: Don't sweat the small stuff! IF things aren't as perfect as they should be things will still work out. I am a mom that works two jobs and Jason has three. There are going to be days that dishes are still in the sink. Don't get the scream machine out. (That is Jason's pet name for my voice)
Sixth: Love harder, do I share those feelings of love I have enough? To spell LOVE with kids it is TIME. I need to spend more one on one time with my kids expecially Tyler and Katie.
Seventh: Get organized, I am organized to a fault at school. What do I mean, don't touch my desk. Things are at a 90 degree angle and in the proper place. Don't move books on the selves or have desks not in a row because I can't function. At home this is the opposite my closest is a wreck. I need to spend one month doing some heavy cleaning and organizing. When we are organized we more effective people.
Eighth: Keep up with what needs to be done. The reason I hate ironing is that I wait until I have 30 shirts to do. If I spent an hour a week doing ironing it would be done and caught up. I don't like putting grades in the computer if it takes more than an hour. I hate separating papers after two weeks. Why because I am always playing catch up. I need to stop playing catch up and just get caught up.
Ninth: I guess I need to come up with four more goals. I guess if you are like Mary Poppins you really only need eight goals a year.
I hope that my family and friends have a wonderful new year!
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